Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits. ColOssians 3:21

As a parent I screw up a lot! It’s mostly out of love. I want them to be the best they can be. To become who God intended them to be. Usually I get in the way of both of these things. 

Last night I found myself repeating instructions for what seems like the zillionth time. I went on and on about how he needs to be obedient, respectful, and diligent. It was bed time. We were both tired. And I was too hard on him. His cowering face should have been the sign. I was too tired to see it.

What I did see, upon entering my own room, was that I had been doing the very thing I had just instructed him not to do. My own room was a mess. Bed not made. Clothes, both clean and dirty, strewn about. What kind of example was I setting? I quickly asked God to forgive me for being so hard on him and recalled this verse. Then I wrote him a note explaining what I did wrong and how I was going to work on changing my ways and left it for him. (He rises with the sun, I don’t, otherwise I wouldn’t have left a note. Plus he LOVES notes so I had a feeling it would be meaningful to him.)

As parents we work so hard not to let anyone else crush their spirit. (We give them medals for participation, if you need an example, but you might not want to get me started on that one.) But at home, at least I, have not been as gentle.

He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in unchanging love. He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot. Yes, You will cast all their sins Into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:18-19

I am thankful that Jesus always forgives us. This is should be my greatest example as I parent our boys. He not only forgives us, he casts our offenses into the sea and forgets them, Never to be mentioned again. He’s the perfect father. The kind of parent I am striving to be.

We try to use this method for saying sorry. It seems to be working better than anything else we have done (which really was just the “say you’re sorry” way we grew up doing it). I find I am doing it too when I need to apologize to others. We practiced the technique and I explained the steps before we really needed it. It felt to awkward at first, now it is becoming second nature. I sometimes have had to coach the kids on what they are going to work on/change for the future so it wasn’t just “I won’t hit you again”, but they are getting better at it rather quickly.

SCRIPTURES on FORGIVENESS:(There are so many, but here are a few of my favorites)

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22